Waaaaay off this whole week

I'm not sure if the mass exodus of all things bodily internal last week really threw me or what, but this entire week I have been off, and can't seem to find my footing. :P  I found myself not wanting to teach anymore, and not happy in general. Dancing on Friday wasn't as fun as it normally has been (caught myself doing my 'oh I'm not pretty' thing and trying to toss a pity party... though I managed to actually catch myself and stop, for the most part (and I still had fun, all in all)). And today I feel like something is wrong... which could just be cause my period is coming. But I also felt/feel like I didn't get rid of EVERYTHING that need to get out last week... whatever IT is, I'm not sure. Did I say this already? My room needs to be cleaned too, and I KNOW that contributes to my being ungrounded, for sure. And I haven' exercised all week.... AND have been eating too much. Wow.. Okay.. no wonder I feel like crap.
Re-dosing the Phos. helped a little bit for a day... I recall having a cool dream, but didn't write it down, as usual. *facepalm*
I made the Ibuprofen 12X and have taken it three times. Not sure if it did anything.. maybe it's contributing to my funk? New bruises on my legs and one I got from knocking my knee on a gasoline pump indicate my count has STILL gone nowhere. AAAAHHHHH!!!! I want platelets!!!! Is it too much to ask!?!?! I feel like my brain is slowly dying.... like I'm getting dumber. And I can't recover as quickly from working out.  What's missing?!?!! WHAT DO I NEED TO DO!?!?! People say they live just fine with a low count, and I used to think that too....but I'm starting to feel like that's not quite right. Yes, you can survive just fine with a low count. But it's not normal! Something is STILL WRONG! And I don't want that! I want things to be RIGHT. BAH! This is outragiously frustrating. My two year anniversary since being diagnosed is coming up in less than a month. March 16th (which happens to be Carver Arts Night..and the musical... (Yes.. it's going to be a looong day)). Two years of platelets below 30. Maybe I need to do another fast since it seems we can't figure out what's blocking the hpathy. *sigh*sigh*sigh*
Okay... rant over.