Just for the record.. God is real. After really truly struggling with this for a year now, I can honestly say, yup.. real. And He's just absolutely wonderful. Here I am.. all upset and embarrassed and not wanting to talk to Him cause I'm thinking for sure I'm gunna get chastised and feel like crap.... but so desperate for an answer and I feel like crap at any rate.. so really how much worse could it get. And what's my answer? Just love and forgiveness and absolutely no condemnation whatsoever. Why didn't I do this a long time ago? I guess it had to come to this... as all things usually do I suppose.
I'm going to water fast again.. but on my own and not as long. I have eustation tube dysfunction and it's a major drag. My hearing is at about %70 (depending on the day (it's worse in the morning)). The steriods on spraying up my nose aren't doing much any more, and no, I don't want cateracs, thank you very much. And I don't have money to buy food anyway, so really it's a win win situatuion! Ha!
And that'll be a good lead in to the changes I want to make in my life.
Bummer I'm not tired! That's what I get for going back to bed and sleeping till 3pm. Whoops! Not tomorrow... cause I have things to do and won't get the opportunity. Heheh. Yay for responsiblities. They can be a real life savor some time.
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