More walnuts, please...

The charge from one of my naturopaths was to add more omega 3s. So I've been making sure the past few days to get a good handful of walnuts or flax seeds into my food. And I'm really starting to feel surprisingly better... in my mood, that is. :) Maybe it just coincidence, but I was really down there for quite a while, and now I'm not. Granted, I've been figureing a lot of things out and doing a LOT of self analysis (partly from my homepathic doctor... who's the bombdigady). But at any rate, it's nice to feel good.. and certainly makes it easier to get things done! And there's a lot to get done right now!
A friends recital is coming up (in two weeks) and I'm playing a LOT in it. Piano solo, two dutets, a choir, and a small ensemble. Okay.. typing that out it doesn't seem like some over abundence of playing.. but it is. Trust me.

I'm on the computer too much. I think I'll go read. :)

Ask.. and you shall GET!

Dearest mother was a little bit upset that I wasn't on the hunt for more gigs, so I posted this on my facebook status:
"I need money! Who wants to hire a cute accompanist?!"
And I got a lot of answers! Okay.. admittedly, most of them were silly.. But a few of them were real.. and bada bing bada boom! GIGS! And I got another gig, from one of them (that I did tonight). Whoohoo!! This is all going towards doctor bills.. cause I have a lot of them, and there's more to come, I'm sure... Especially if my ears don't heal!!!! BBAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Geting pro-active again

I have just added two more doctors to my arsenal. Well.. one doctor..one student. :)
So now I have:
An N.M.D (who is well versed in cranial sacral therapy)
A student, headed for an N.M.D
A homeopathic doctor
Two G.Ps
A hematologist
Our powers combined...we are....
... CAPTAIN PLANET! Hahaha!

I had a wonderful phone consult with my N.M.D the other day. We talked about everything, and he had some very encouraging and well timed words for me.
Next week I'll have a full consult with my homeopathic doctor.. who I'm totally soaked about.
And just now I got off the phone with the student (who consulted her professors). Here are some changes I get to make now:

• At least 30 min of sunlight everyday
• Add oatmeal, yams, carrots everyday to diet (happy to oblige!)
  
• Hydro therapy everyday (hot/cold/hot/cold shower. Whee!)
• Be in bed by 10..11 at the latest
• Blend cilantro into a drink every night (oh boy!)
• Eat more fresh, cold water fish
• Start a food diary and mark down any body changes

Hooray! My life is getting back on track!!! Aaahhhhh. It feels good; not gunna lie. And THIS time I'm not going to let other peoples concepts or opinions get me down. I will NOT sacrafice MY happiness for others. (Whoa.. I just had MAJOR dejavoo..... wild)

Wouldn't it be awesome if I could get my count up by my birthday?? HA! Most likely not.. but I'll shoot for it, just for the fun of it. :)

Exercise...

.....it's a must.

And I feel so much better after doing it, too. Huh.. go figure. :) I started doing it again (finally!). Tried out the Sprint 8 workout. Fantastic is a good word to describe it. :)

School starts next week... though that doesn't exactly apply to me so much, but I'm helping out on Tuesdays and Thursdays... So I'm thinking I'll ride my bike in on Tuesdays, weather permitting. It's such an awesome ride. And loooooong. Good work out, to be sure.

I think I'm going to try Bikrum yoga tomorrow morning and see how I do, cause I miss it SO much... I'm just not sure how it'll effect me with my platelets.... Only one way to find out!!!

Excerpt from "Captivating"

Sarah and I started reading through a book called "Captivating." Undoubtedly, we will be crying throughout.
Here's an excerpt that I really enjoyed:

"A woman in the presence of a good man, a real, man, loves being a women. His strength allows her feminine heart to flourish. His pursuit draws out her beauty. And a man in the presence of a real woman loves being a man. Her beauty arouses him to play the man, it draws out his strength. She inspires him to be a hero. Would that we all were so fortunate."

Ear infection! ... what's new.....

I had a sneaky feeling I had an infection in my left ear.. and sure enough! I do. Unfortunately, once my GP saw the red, slightly bulging ear drum, she totally checked out. That was it. That was the problem, and drops were the solution. I tried pointing out my other ear was still clogged, and both were popping and doing wired things. But she chalked everything up to the infection, and maybe TMJ. It was incredibly frustrating... No joke. I kept re-wording my concern, and would look at her, and there would be silence... with her just blankly smiling at me. *forehead slap*. I have never had a doctor check out on me like that.... I mean she was done. Time to move on. No more conversation. Done. :P
I'm SO glad I have a phone consult with Dr. Incredible on Friday. That's right.... Dr. Incredible (from my fasting experience over the summer). He is.... Incredible.

At any rate... now I'm typing with my head sideways with drops in my ears (antibiotics). We'll see how this pans out...

Come on pappa..... dady needs a new ENT....

Tomorrow I'll be seeing my GP in Auburn, and interestingly enough, it has nothing to do with ITP... I do believe this is a first. However.. quite unfortunately.. it has to do with my ears. Ugh! They've been clogged, and popping, and cracking, and hurting off and on ever since mid November. I've tried almost everything and I'm getting a little desperate. I called her last week to let her know that, and inform her that I had to stop the nasal spray due to the headache it was giving me. It was then that she informed me that they won't refer me to an ENT... they only do that for emergencies. Well now.. I don't know what constitutes an 'emergency', but I'm a musician.. and there's something wrong with my ears..... EMERGENCY!!!!!
I got a medical book called "ENT Secrets". It's an extremely hard read.. considering it's written for 3rd year med students to be able to understand.... but it's helped a little, and if anything, it's a really nice reference to have for future…well...reference.

In the mean time, I've been rinsing my sinuses out with sea salt and baking soda. Never..ever..have I intentionally inflicted so much pain on myself. It's unruly. But after it's all done and I give it a few minutes, it feels really good. Gotta loose some to win some...or something like that.

Qigong

I just had the realization that I need to start hanging out with different people. I want my life to go in a different direction, and I need support. Naturally, I'll still spend time with my old friends.. but I need some that will meet me where am at.. and even more, challenge me.. be encouraging, not belittling. I want to go on adventures.. Hike through a wilderness, clime a mountain, swim a lake. I need to be challenged.. Motivated.
I'm going to see if I can find a place that does Qigong... or something along those lines... and somewhere hopefully close.

Heheh! I feel like I'm in the Wheel of Time books... and Wheel is turning. Meheheheh

Editing = time warp

Blast it all! So much for keeping to my schedule. I am on a roll with editing.. and as per usual, time slips through my fingers like the sand that it is.

Baby Mine is now up, and Save It For a Rainy Day is next. (The longer the video... the longer it'll take. So I'm going in order of shortest to longest, for the most part)
Here's the link: Baby Mine

Zoe... one stinker of a cat!

There's been a black male cat roaming about these parts. Apparently, he thinks he owns the neighborhood, having already made his mark with our neighbors cat...... who now has the kittens to show for it.
He's been harassing Zoe to the point where she doesn't want to go outside any more. She used to stay out for hours on end, but now only a few minutes (just to enjoy the fresh air) then dart back inside.

Today, dad let her out and then she vanished. We searched and called, tromping about through the back back yard (yes.. that's 2 'backs') twice.. both times to no avail. She was out the whole day, and not responding to our call by the night time is uncommon. Then to top everything off, it started raining! I'm thinking, "Great... she's probably hiding somewhere far away where that stupid black cat chased her... and now it's wet and cold.."
But not too shortly after the rain died, she shows up at the back door.. BONE DRY. Not even a wet paw. The little stinker hadn't gone anywhere..... clearly hiding somewhere around the house, and not budging when we called her.




Stinker.

Website is up

Website is up and running!.... though it's not done yet. But hey.. it's a start! :D
www.janzenmusic.com

Now to finish editing my jazz recital.. and then start and finish editing my classical recital (I'm referring to the video). LOTS to do!

I may have also gotten a gig to arrange "King of Anything" by Sara Bareilles for a local high school choir. I really hope she doesn't want me to simply transcribe what they did on The Sing Off... that's no fun. But I guess work is work.. I've got bills to pay. And it'll be good experience no matter what. Now the main question is will she go for my price...... I don't want to negotiate, but I understand it's a high school.. and no one has a budget these days.

Got a plan..

Just for the record.. God is real. After really truly struggling with this for a year now, I can honestly say, yup.. real. And He's just absolutely wonderful. Here I am.. all upset and embarrassed and not wanting to talk to Him cause I'm thinking for sure I'm gunna get chastised and feel like crap.... but so desperate for an answer and I feel like crap at any rate.. so really how much worse could it get. And what's my answer? Just love and forgiveness and absolutely no condemnation whatsoever. Why didn't I do this a long time ago? I guess it had to come to this... as all things usually do I suppose.

I'm going to water fast again.. but on my own and not as long. I have eustation tube dysfunction and it's a major drag. My hearing is at about %70 (depending on the day (it's worse in the morning)). The steriods on spraying up my nose aren't doing much any more, and no, I don't want cateracs, thank you very much. And I don't have money to buy food anyway, so really it's a win win situatuion! Ha!
And that'll be a good lead in to the changes I want to make in my life.

Bummer I'm not tired! That's what I get for going back to bed and sleeping till 3pm. Whoops! Not tomorrow... cause I have things to do and won't get the opportunity. Heheh. Yay for responsiblities. They can be a real life savor some time.

A small reminder

I was reading back to my fasting posts (looking for that paragraph about the fly that was inspired by Mark Twain), and I came across a quote from one of the doctors:

"If you don't change the direction your going, you'll wined up where you were headed"

A truer statement has yet to be said. When I got back, things where different, but I look at myself now and see that I have gotten no where. I am exactly in the same place as I've always been (save for my count being in the 20's now instead of the teens (which is a plus, for sure)). I keep daydreaming about meeting a man and what's in the future, and in all those daydreams (I've come to realize) I'm a different person. I don't like where I'm heading.. cause I'm heading nowhere! And who wants to go nowhere? It's a boring place to be.

It's time to change direction. I can't keep letting people steer me back to my old ways. I need to be in the driver seat. Move over world, it's my turn to drive!

Ready for a new year!

Just finished making a schedule for myself. Naturally, things will change and it will vary from day to day, depending on what's going on.. but this just gives me a foundation; somewhere to start. It feels wonderful just to make it.. now to DO IT!
My cat coos like a bird at me when she wants something. It's hysterical. We have conversations that essentially go thusly:
Zoe, "Ccoooo?" (Yes.. there is a question mark with it) [Translate: Moomm?]
Me, "Yes?"
Zoe, "Coooo?" [Play with me?]
Me, "Oh yeah?"
Zoe, "Cooo" [Yeah]
I'm not joking. She also does this in the morning to wake me up.. the whole, "Are you awake yet?" thing... And then I'll wake up and she be all play time! And pretty much harass me until I get up. I love it.