Leaving

Welp....all my bags are packed up and in my car. The only thing left is a deep issue massage at noon (and I'm very excited about it. It'll be from the same guy who I had the cranial sacral session with). I've got rehearsal tonight at First Cov (aka: River City Christian)...so I'll be hitting the ground running, so-to-speak. I wonder how different I look now. I weighed 124.8 this morning (it seems my weight balanced out there...which is groovy). I don't really feel like I look that much different, but I suppose I'll find out when people see me.

One thing different from last time is you can place a meal order to go! So they're packing me lunch and dinner. This is me....being very excited about that. :-)



Yesterday I FINALLY had enough energy to go to the grave yard and walk around. I no longer feel like I can't breath when I stand, so that's encouraging. (yes....too many double negatives there...but I'm rolling with it). I remembered the grave yard being beautiful and peaceful, but I had forgotten just how increddibly beautiful it was. Breath taking. And the leaves were brown and dying, and the sky was cloudy, and a slight breeze was blowing. It's like Autumn just *poof!* arrived on the scene.



This time just flew by suddenly! At first it was soooooo slow...but here we are now.... totally done and leaving in a few hours. There was so much I got out of this time and I'm so glad I came. Besides a good ol' fashion hardcore detox, I also discovered that I might have a sensitivity to grains...or at least oats. I need to experiment now. AND I had a great revelation on how much I've grown and changed...how I've cultivated my feminine. Just be interacting with people (espeically the men), I see how my energy effects them positively and I see my reflection in their eyes...and it's a new me. I had this old concept of who I was.... small, a fake, insignificant, not worth people's time, etc..... just a lot of negative stuff. And then, seemingly all of the sudden, that's not the case at all.... I know it never was the case to begin with, but now I actually see it and feel it. A powerful sense of worth. It was almost like being at a workshop it was so potent for me.

Day 12: Get the raw on!

This morning's weight: 123.2  (yeah....buddy)

Today I braved a small bowl of fruit...and it went very well. :-) It's the small things, ya know? Then lunch consisted of some leftover blended zucchini mixed with salad stuff from the bar. I would have added a small bit of potato, but non was out. Maybe it's for the best...... Maybe it's for dinner instead? ;-)

My moon time started today..which is exciting...cause I could feel it coming for DAYS and just wanted to it come and be here. The only slight problem is this: my last urine sample showed a little bit of blood....nothing to be concerned about, and not abnormal for fasters. But since I'm eating now, there shouldn't be any. Well.... tomorrow is "pee day" but since I'm bleeding, then for SURE there will be blood in my sample. *facepalm* My solution is to take a shower, rinse off rrreeeeeeaaaaalllly well, and then quickly pee in the cup. Hopefully that works. We'll see.

End day 11.... hmmmmm

So the zucchini didn't sit well. Well....not that it didn't sit well. More like...it felt like it was getting stuck in my throat and stomach. It was painful and uncomfortable. So I called the intern and he went and blended it up for me, and changed my days order to all blended. It was SO much food! With every single cup I only drank half.... so now there's a pile of cups in the fridge. Hehe. But at least it went down just fine. Tomorrow I get raw......so we'll see how that goes.

Last night I tried to lay out under the stars again...but one of the guys here was talking my ear off and I just couldn't hang around. He was creating so many excuses for himself and has this strange twitchy kind of energy. Too much. Too draining. So I went to my room, relaxed, and finished writing a post for bookstory. A good way to end the night.

Day 11... Squash and Zucchini

Last night (before bed), I hung out outside with Shaun and chatted for quite a while...till about 9:30pm. It finally got too cold for me, so I went to bed and pretty much fell asleep right away. And sleep I did....all through the night!! It was GLORIOUS! Finally....a full nights sleep..so restful.

C & L were in my dream....and I was on the Bay Bridge when someone had planted bombs on it at some particular section (not the whole thing)...I ran for it and jumped just as the second went off, and then that section collapsed...  Strange.

Now it's 8:00am..... I've been awake since 7:00....just lying here, enjoying the coooool morning air wafting through my window. The docs haven't done their morning rounds yet..but I need to remember to ask them if the squash is brought to me, or if I just get it at the bar...and what time my chiropractic appointment is.

That's it for now. So nice to be feeling human again. *cue Beauty and the Beast song*

Day..er.....10... AKA: Juice!

Well now.... my energy just kept going down hill, and I couldn't really look at my computer screen for very long without getting a headache...so it was difficult to update.

2 days ago (day 8) I saw the cranial sacral therapist here. It was a GREAT session, and it helped open my heart back up again (sometime after the David Deida workshop, it closed up hard and I have to struggling to open it). I didn't have a huge cry, but nice little one. Very therapeutic and grounding. Just what I needed.

The past few days have been beastly hot...which I think was contributing to my lack of energy and overall sense of blah. So I would wait and go out in the evening and just lay down on one of the retractable lounge chairs..and watch the dusk turn into night. It was healing and helpful.

Yesterday (day 9) was one of the hardest (next to day 2)... I was so ready to be done and getting very frustrated with being unable to stand for more than a minute...which started taking it's toll and my legs have been very restless while I trying to sleep.

So today I get juice! I asked for watermelon/celery for the first juice....but I think the intern might have put it into the system wrong....cause so far...that's ALL I've been getting. Heh. I suppose it's not a bad thing. :-)

I'm still very weak, but at least I can stand for about 3-5 minutes without wanting to collapse. Each day will get better!! I'm very glad now that I didn't extend the fast one more day...I'm going to leave on Wednesday and need to be able to hit the ground running when I get back...with rehearsals and gigs and all that fun jazz.

Day 7.. a tad better.

Today's starting weight: 125.8! Whee!!

I was too out of it yesterday to write. Phew. And didn't sleep great to boot. But! I seem to have a bit more energy today.... I had labs drawn at 8am, and then lied out in the cool morning air. Chatted with Nike for quite a bit, then went to the cooking demo at 10am. Yes... it was torturous......but I learned some cool things to take home with me (and that was the point). Nike and I sat in the back so the smell wouldn't be super powerful. Dear Lord...it smelled amazing.

Then I went back outside and chatted via text with Sarah... But once the aromas from the kitchen started getting too strong, I just had to leave. It smelled like pizza... PIZZA! For crying out loud. So incredible. Well anyway... I only have two days left after this... I've made it this far... I can make two more days.



Side note: detox body odor is RANK!!!! And shows up 5 minutes after washing.... there's no winning with this one.

End of day 5...still can hardly stand...

So I still can't really stand for very long without feeling like I can't breathe.... BUT.. I can sit and lay down noooooo problem. Well....I can sit for longer than I can stand... and I can lay down for as long as I want..So that's what I did all day...and I did most of it outside. :-) You know..it's perfect weather here ALL THE TIME!!! So it's easy to be outside. (We're suppose to get some sun, but not much...hence, I spent most of my time in the shade)

Today, Henry and I sat and talked for the longest we've done yet.... I like maybe 4 or 5 hours, judging on meal times (ehhh...that makes sense to me, if no one else...) We've have such wonderful conversations that jump all over the place... naturally, we always end up talking about music at least twice during the perpetual exchange. He has such amazing stories! I could seriously listen to him for hours on end. And it was nice to see how my feminine presence was refreshing him. Good stuff, all the way around.

Can't forget to pee in my cup tomorrow morning! (Mondays......)

Day 5...back to just water

Sleep was pretty decent last night... I was totally out like a light when the docs came for their morning around (which usually isn't the case). So far so good!.. again..... But I'm starting to feel some low back pain....again..... Here's hoping it doesn't get any worse than this. It's at a 2 currently.

I finally made it to the 10am "lecture"..which was meditation. We filled the back room, and the teacher is so excited about meditation, she offered to do it every day with us at 9:30am. Haha! I'm down. Rock on.

Today needs to be an outside day... I can hardly stand for more than a minute without feeling like I can't breath, but then I'm fine once I sit. So sit I will do...and by the fountain..and read...(and blog)...

I don't remember that little shark being in there before....and it's positively adorable!

End of day 4...here come the hunger pangs....again.

The day started with one cup (aka 16 oz) of juice.....and then a mix of another cup of juice and water for the rest of the day till the evening....and now it's been just water for the past 4 hours. And here we go again with the hunger pangs... *facepalm* And tomorrow is back to only water...so we'll see what happens. Got my fingers crossed that I can make it the rest of the way without any aids!

I could move *much* faster today, but noticed that I feel like I'm not getting enough oxygen when I stand for too long... and by "too long" I mean 5 minutes. I keep forgetting to mention that when the doctors do their rounds. Perhaps now that I'm writing it, I'll remember come morning.

Day 4.... And ALIVE!!!

Today's weight: 128

The end of day 2 started going down hill....fast. By 5:30, I started throwing up...followed by severe lower back pain... I mean writhing and moaning in bed kind of pain, and no matter which way I turned or laid, there was no making it better... or worse for that matter. It was hitting an 8/10 on the pain scale, and for me, that's saying something.

After another round of vomiting (which was SO difficult to do because of the lower back pain...every time I contracted, pain would radiate everywhere), I finally broke down and called the Doctor who was on call that night, and she brought me some broth  and put an ice pack on my back. I could hardly touch the broth because of the nausea, but the ice packed started to help a bit.

She left, and about 2 hours later I needed to puke again. And then the back pain flared right back up, with no sign of release. So I called her again (after all...she was the one to say to call her if I threw up again). By this time it was around 11pm, and I had woken her up (kinda felt guilty about that). After a brief talk, we decided that I should have some juice, and she got up to make me some, and brought it to me. SUCH a sweetheart!!

She got me a new ice pack, took my vitals, and encouraged me to hang in there...that it's just detoxing and it's quite common.

I managed a few more hours of sleep before vomiting AGAIN! And then managed a bit of sleep.

The following day (day 3) I moved like a very old lady and slept most of the day. Sssooooooo slow. Phew. But they gave me juice for the whole day since I lost most of my electrologists and LOTS of fluid (I dropped 5 pounds! Yikes! (I went from 132.2 to 127.8).

This morning I'm feeling much better, and am able to move "faster"..... faster than a 90 year old, at least. Heh. And able to write....clearly. :-) I think I'll take my computer outside and write to work on my story for our Book Story.

Day 2 - Hangin' in there!

This mornings weight: 132.2

Last night wasn't the best...lots and lots of tossing and turning and a general sense of blah. I never threw up, so that's nice, I suppose. But my limbs just wouldn't get comfortable. I woke up at 1:30am...WIDE awake. *facepalm* So I just tried to relax and find positions that were acceptable for said relaxation. 

After the docs checked up on me, I decided to take a shower. We're technically not suppose to....because they're worried about patients falling over and hurting themselves. But with my achy body, I knew it would help... and sure enough, it did. I mean.. I still ache, but I do at least feel a little bit more human. Currently, there's a hot pad on my lower back (lesson learned from last time = hot pads are amazing). 

I read my old posts from last time, and that was also an encouragement...just to see how miserable I was. (I couldn't remember...all I could remember is how amazing I felt by day 5 and the rest of the time. Heh!) 

I'm more bundled up today...at least for right now. It's cool outside and feels wonderful, so my plan is to take my book and hot water bottle, and hangout out there and read. 

Day 1 ends... finally!!!

Well this day seemed to last forever! Talk about the time dragging. Phew! I managed to pass most of it with reading and watching a few T.V shows... I also sat in the sun and wrote in my journal, but then started feeling strange and thought it would be best to just lay down and rest.

The hunger pangs are much less, though I do still feel hungry...but now my whole body feels like it's made from lead.....sooooooo heavy. And I'm starting to feel a tad sick to my stomach.

I think I'll just hit the lights and go to bed early..... very early.

Day 1 - The Journey starts and Midday hunger pangs

Today's starting weight: 134.4 

This fasting go-a-round, I have a different doctor...and I love her! Great energy: warm, grounded, sweet, and fun. Our first introduction was me inadvertently starling her as she was leaving the bathroom just as I was trying to go in. There's nothing more to that story...I just thought it was funny...and a comical way to meet someone for the first time (instead of walking into their office, shaking hands, having a seat, etc...)

Since I HAVE to leave no later than the 16th, we're making the most of it, and letting me do a 9 day fast, with a 4 day re-feed. Of course...I'm realizing now that I had said I was leaving on the 15th...so I wonder if I could do 10 day instead....hmmmmmmm..... That can always be worked out later. I'll be getting some labs done on Sunday (day 5), so then we'll re-assess how I'm doing and go from there.

When I woke up this morning, I didn't have breakfast in the hopes that I could start the fast today..and sure enough, I was right. So today has been day one!....Around 1:00pm I started feeling hunger pangs...and now I'm really feeling it. OI! But at the same time, it's nice to feel hungry...since the past weeks have consisted of me not feeling hungry. It feels normal. :-) Besides the pangs, it's been "so far, so good." Though currently as I write I can feel a tinge of a headache. :-P

Also...I forgot how the day slows WAY down when I'm not consumed with thinking about food, making food, and eating food. Wow does that take up a lot of brain power.... This day has been forever. And it's only 4:15pm....

Fasting at True North, ROUND TWO!!

Last week, I had this horrible feeling that something was really wrong with my gut....it seemed like things just weren't working right, though I couldn't really pinpoint it. (Though it did seem like food would hurt after eating, no matter what I ate). I had already canceled German choir due to not feeling well, and the week before I had to drag myself through rehearsal. So I finally said 'enough of this feeling like crap'...and I called up True North.

Now...here I am! One week later. I took off work, moved some things around, and badabing badaboom, I made it happen. I'm SO thankful they had space, and that *I* had space in my own schedule. Unfortunately, I don't actually have the money to be here...so I'll only be here for two weeks. But as I've been saying: It's better to be in debt and be happy and full of vigor and life, than to not be in debt and be miserable and sick all the time. I'm so over feeling like crap more often than not, and all this throwing up, and missing out on my own life. Seriously, I've thrown up more in the past year than in my whole life. It's time to get all this crap out of my system and LIVE.

Since I haven't seen a doctor yet, I'm can't start the fast...but I've hardly been eating...so I'm practically there already. :-P And I've been prepping for it, eating only fruits and veggies, so I'm hoping I can start first thing tomorrow. I won't eat breakfast, just in case. :-)

Last time (5 years ago) I started with a platelet count of 16K, and weighed 142lbs.
This time my count is somewhere in the 60's (last I checked in May), and weigh 135lbs. Rock on.

I left at 8am, right after an adjustment with the chiropractor, and hit TONS of traffic... but didn't care, because I was listing to Game of Thrones and in *zero* rush....which, really, should always be the case... it makes my driving experience much more pleasurable.