Well that lasted long *facepalm*

My 30 day boot camp lasted a week. *sigh* It just was too much, especially since I had no one to hold me accountable... But it was a good run and a good lesson.

State Fair

Mom and I went to the State Fair, and had a blast as always. The first thing we did was get her this large, woven hat... I was a little jealous. It looked better than mine. :-) And MUCH better than the pink grandma hats she was first looking at..... Close call on that one! Anyway...
We love checking out all the little vendors and seeing what they have to sell...though she tends to be more inclined to buy than I am. But it's still a lot of fun.

Me, "I'm excited about my dresses..."
Mom, "I'm excited about my mop!"

Discovery Park

I took an adventure to Discovery Park this past week....and boy was in an adventure! I hiked around and discovered lots of little paths off of the main trail. And at one point, nearly ran FACE FIRST into a spider, chillin' on a huge person sized web. Scared the crap out of me just from the surprise factor: seemingly nothing being in the path, to all-of-the-sudden something right in your face. Of course....it didn't help that the spiders look deadly.....I have no idea if they were, they just LOOKED like their bite would do horrible things to you.

Taking this picture was all kinds of hilariously scary

Composing!

I also started composing an arrangement of "More Than Words"... it's just in it's beginning stages, but it's nice to be back into it, and feeling more momentum around music and composing.

Birthday #1

There are a bunch of birthdays all taking place. Jess had his last week, and then Steph a few days later... And Scott's is next week... then Cody and Gwen and I'm sure more people I can't think of right now.
But Jess had the most inspiring birthday ever. I show up and ask if he figured out what he wanted to do for the day. And his reply? He wanted to get organize, clean the bathroom, fix up his room, and plan out the year. He wanted to start off the next year right, basically. It was SO incredibly inspiring. There's so much more to say, but I'm passing out as I write this... I got him some stones for this journey, and that is a whole story in and of itself. And we went to Costco and some vegan place for dinner (which was AMAZING...gluten and dairy free!), and then cleaned the bathroom in a major way. Best birthday ever, I'd say.

End of day 3 for the "boot camp"

Okay...this is really less of a "boot camp" and more of a good schedule to frame my day with. Since I'm the only one involved here, it's super easy to miss things, move things, etc.... And I'm totally fine with that. The whole point of this was to give myself a frame work so I could get stuff done over the summer, and that's exactly what's happening, so I'm cool with how poorly I'm doing right now. I mean.. I'm not doing THAT bad, but it's not perfect...not by a long shot. I've done really good with my morning and evening rituals, so that's nice...and that's a habit that I would like to form permanently.

Today at rehearsal a couple of people commented on how amazing I'm looking..and how different I look (in a good way). They just don't understand the wonders of personal growth work and how this work effects you physically. It's amazing. I'm still just floored. 133.7 pounds. Darn tooten.

Boot Camp: End of Day 1

Since I didn't get to bed last night till 2am, I didn't get up as early as was planned. And that threw most of my day off. So yeah...not the greatest start, but not half bad. I did get a lot done despite the sleeping set back.... And what was most impressive was I weighed and measured myself, just for kicks. (I'll do it again at the end).

Weight: 133.7 (WhaaAAAAAAAAaaat? The last time I was that low was during my water fast!)

So then I measured to see if it was also crazy times...and it was...

Around the belly: 24.5 inches
Waist: 29 inches
Legs: 22.5 inches

MADNESS! I literally haven't been doing anything to try to lose weight. Nothing. Nothing at all. My eating is exactly the same (and possibly slightly worse than it has been in the past, or when I've really tried to lose weight). And my exercising is non existent. Seriously. Not at all. I'm so out of shape. Yet here we are! Weight and inches, gone....vanished into thin air. The one and only thing I've actually been doing is personal growth work....and I've been having lots of breakthroughs and shifts.... So.... the only conclusion I can draw is: There is really something to be said for physical health being effected by emotional health.

30 Day boot camp!

The end of May is always a dozy...hence the lack of posting. Nothing too exciting to report, just the usual work. Though I must say, our end-of-the-year concert at Carver went WAY better than even I was expecting...and that's saying something. We ended up singing in the foyer and the kids were so nervous, they paid complete attention to me and watched me the whole time... clearly I need to make them nervous more often. Hehehehe. Anyway...the principle was just pleased as punch. And it's so nice that every single concert we get just one step better and bigger.

And June?...What happened to June. I have no idea....

• I fixed the piping and replaced one of the sprinkler valves. Now to replace the other one. (It never ends!) 
• I started working on a new website and am quite pleased with how it's turning out
• I went through a major bought of depression... the worst I've ever had in my life. Thankfully it only lasted a week (I'm actually at the very tail end of it). But out of it, I came up with an idea to put myself through a 30 day boot camp for personal excellence. I even made a little website for it for fun --> 30 Day Boot Camp

I'm going to do the boot camp like how I did with the water fast...were I post at the end of every day. And I'll do one more, and take a picture as well. :-)

And with that...I should get ready for bed!

Platelets!!!! Oh God, PLATELETS!!!

The light at the end of the tunnel can finally be seen!

The beginning of May, we put on two workshops: Embracing Emotions and then Finding Your NO.
Just the process of putting on the workshops and getting the space ready was a workshop in itself! And I had a major breakthrough around growing up and being an adult. A MAJOR break through.

Side effect of saying "no" to myself:
healthy eating

A big part of that was learning to say "no" to myself...and say it lovingly. I won't go into here, but I am planning on writing a book about this whole journey. The main point was it was a huge shift for me.... I actually missed Embracing Emotions.... I literally spent the whole workshop in the bathroom throwing up over and over. Very intense... but it made since... I had a very intense shift. (Steph finds it hilarious that I have such a physical reaction to my emotional/energetic shifts)

So that all happened... and then I get my count checked last Friday (May 9th), because I planned on getting a wisdom tooth pulled the following Monday, and wanted to know what my count was.... Everyone (including myself) was a little nervous to have the procedure done with a count of 30, since there would be cutting and drilling and all that oral surgery good stuff. But Monday comes, and low and behold my count is 70!!!!  The phone call went something like this:

Secretary, "Hey Kate....so... what do you think it is?" (She always asks...just to see if I can guess correct)

Me, "Well.... watching the blood being drawn, it looked about the same...But... the bruise seems to be healing pretty quickly, so I'm hoping it's higher..."

Secretary, "Well... it's 70."

Me, "70? or 17?"

Secretary, "70."

Me, "70?!?! As in.... Seven zero??"

Secretary, "Yes." :-)

I proceeded to swear and gawk in amazement. 70. Wow. Incredible. That means I was right.... that Scott was right. My platelets had nothing to do with physical issues, but everything to do with my emotional body/energetic body/spiritual body/whatever you want to call it. This isn't the first time my count has gone up after a shift...but it's definitely the HIGHEST. I thought they would never get higher than 60... So that's where the triumph lies. Undoubtedly they will drop, as it always go with the healing pendulum...but hopefully not drop quite as low...and then swing higher. I mean who knows... maybe my normal around IS around the 60's and 70's.... But who cares! It's moving. It's working. My body is healing.... Healing from the inside out.

So that's the big news.....
Here's what else happened the past two months:

DISNEYLAND!!! 

As always, Disneyland was a blast. I spent it with Wendy again, and we always have a great time together. We can chat for HOURS. :-) Man do I have such a better time at these kinds of events now... I no longer look at all the couples and feel a ping of jealousy, I don't wonder "Maybe THAT guy is the guy!" with every man who passes me... I just enjoy my time. And I enjoy seeing couples and enjoy seeing love. It's a great feeling...to share in the joy and the love, and not feel bitter or hate towards it. 

All the lights are pretty...
All the rides are fun...
But all the pleasures in the world can't compare
with simply sitting at my Beloveds feet.

 The pipes! Lord have mercy the pipes!!!

I fixed the piping, and was quite pleased with myself.... But I used this new joint system that was removable (aka: no glue)........ Yeeeaaahhh... that didn't work so much. It leaked EVERYWHERE. So I had to take the whole thing apart. *sigh*
Now it's sitting there...waiting for me to finish the job as the grass is drying out. This has been a major pain in the ass... And of course I got my tooth out and can't do any physical activity.
Steph got a cheap sprinkler that Scott attached the hose to...so the lawn doesn't completely die...

Wisdom Tooth Extraction

This was literally the biggest procedure I've been through. No.. it wasn't a big deal. I just think it's funny that it's the most I've had done to me thus far. I guess fillings would be next in line. And getting my blood drawn after that? Anyway..... Here's how it went down:

• Get to the office. Watch a movie on the risks/complications/aftercare/etc.
• Talk with the oral surgeon. We're all good to go. Let's get this sucker out!
• The assistant puts some topical Novocaine on the area. 
• I wait...listen to David Deida 
• Doc comes in and gives a couple of shots of Novocaine around the area.
• I wait..... and wait.... And think to myself, "I still feel like I can feel some things..."
• Doc comes in and gets underway. Aaaaand sure enough! I can still feel. Not too much...but it's there. And of course, I find this out as he starts drilling my tooth in half.
• I make a noise that indicates sensation.
• Doc, "Uuuhhhh.. You can still feel that?'
• Me, "Mm hmm."
• Doc, "Okay.. I'm going to put some topical Novocaine on this.."
• He moves FAST because the tooth was already broken and I can imagine I was bleeding everywhere..there was no time to wait. 
• He puts some of the Novocaine on the broken tooth and I LEAP in the chair. White hot pain shot through my jaw and scared the crap out of me more than anything else. It was startling! But gone in a flash.
• Doc, "Okay. Now you won't feel anything..." And he keeps going. 
• Sure enough, I couldn't feel a thing after that.

The whole procedure was fast. Seriously..like 5-10 minutes. I was shocked. And I looked at the tooth after.. it was so much bigger than what I thought it would be! 

I was a little dizzy afterwards, and Scott drove me home. (My hero)

At first, it was all groovy... Then the Novocaine wore off and it was miserable! Things have slowly gotten better.... It's been 4 days now after the procedure, and I haven't eaten anything but pudding and blended soups. The suture is also on my cheek, not just the gum where the tooth was....so it'll be a few more days till I get to eat more solid, chew-able food (Otherwise I'll chew my cheek off). 

I've also got a yellow bruise forming on my chin...which is fantastic, cause it's not purple! Which means to me that my count is still good. I'm resisting checking it again... :-)

Continuing to Grow

Well it has been a busy few months! Now I need to catch up...Oh boy.... let's see...

Playing on "West Side" = awesome 

January:

• There was still no rain...so I took the opportunity to clean the gutters. It was quite the undertaking, but they are all clean now! (Which is a good thing...cause once it started raining...there was all kinds of small floods around the yard)
• Cleared the side yard by the garage... soooooooooooo many spiders. So. Many.
• Another gig with Merced. Always a good time. :-)
• Cleaned out the laundry room and threw away a LOT of stuff. Hehehehe

Celebration after lots of work

February:

• Trying to get into the habit of making salads: salad in a jar
• Valentines day: Scott and I worked outside on our different projects.. Then I made a fabulous dinner:  Lemon garlic Salmon on a bed of greens, drizzled with a homemade blackberry vinaigrette, topped with blueberries.
• While looking at the sprinklers and trying to figure out what was wrong, I broke the PVC pipe... it was an explosion of water! I moved fast, and shut it off...but now there's just one more thing that needs to be fixed. *facepalm*
• Scott's a mad man working on building a new bed frame.
• Started working on a commission for Dyne
• We put in new flooring in the front room!!!!

We've been doing AcroYoga...and it's been loads of fun :-)

Wearing frills for the first time and loving it

March:

• This month was a lot of work on the workshops, getting the website up and eventbrite and facebook page. It's *very* exciting. :-) The website looks pretty good, all things considered: https://sites.google.com/site/findingyourno
• Checked my count for my annual birthday check: 30 something....33? I can't remember now. (Hence why I should update this more often!)
• My birthday!!! And a big one: 30! Steph took me shopping and Scott got me a chrome book...and then I had a small group of close friends over for food and games. It was a really nice, relaxing time and I was surrounded by people who love me..what more could I ask for?
  
  
  

  

  Latest sexy me selfie

A new year, some more new me!

To start off this post, I found this from a post in June, 2011...talking about a dream I had (while backpacking in Tahoe):

"I can't remember any details, but I was falling in love with a man.. and he was going to be my husband. It was the first time ever that a dating/marriage type of dream wasn't just awkward and wrong feeling. (Normally, I ALWAYS feel uncomfortable, and thinking things like, "This isn't right..something is wrong." But not this time.) It was just wonderful and I was so in love with him. I don't remember his name, or what he looked like. I recall thinking that he reminded me a bit of my brother, and that's it. *sigh* I'm lonely and longing for a man...if you couldn't guess."

I just find that VERY interesting...because Scott is so much like Jesse, it's out of control. We joke about it from time to time... He even has a scar on his eyebrow. Crazy times.

Me explaining to Jess how the game worked...
He wasn't pleased.

Christmas was fun, and the winter break didn't last long enough this time around. We spent time with the family in Holister, and I had a great conversation with my cousin Jenny..it was just starting to get REALLY good when I was pulled away by the folks needing/wanting to leave, which was kind of a bummer. We were talking about Scott and how much I've grown and health. :-)

One of three tree hangings

Our white elephant exchange was fun. Mom got these really awesome electric candles that look totally real and smell like vanilla. I wanted to steal it from her, but she wouldn't let me.... I ended up with chocolate covered fruit (which ended up staying with them). I need to steal one of those candles...

I threw this on my keyboard yelling,
"Feel like Christmas!"

At home, we decorated more than last year.. Steph and I were both struggling feeling like it was Christmas. But we got a little tree this year! And a beautiful wreath. I made door stoppers for Scott and earrings for Steph.. and got Jess a CUTEST stuffed Tiger, as well as a smoky quartz necklace.

Random shot of Steph and
I playing pool

Just last week I was majorly struggling... I don't even remember why. I had wanted to add a couch to office so badly, but Scott thought it would be better to put my time and money into a new computer, and keep the office how it was...afterall...it was totally fine before. :-) For some reason, that really triggered me, and I really struggled for a few days. But on Tuesday, I had a MAJOR break through.. and for the first time since being with him, I really felt his love. And it's not like he hasn't been loving me this whole time.. it's that I hadn't made space for it. I was nearly always feeling sorry for myself in some way, and when I do that, it's all about me... and that leaves no room for no one else, nor room to feel anyone else's love. So yeah... it's been even more amazing now than ever before. It's hilarious how this keeps happening... Struggles and breakthroughs... struggles and breakthroughs... If I keep this up, I will be a pretty incredible person in no time! (Even more than I am now? oooOOOOOooo. Okay. I'm a dork)


We did a read through of Jesse's "The Peddler." Dave commented after the first run that I had gotten a LOT better at it. I pointed out that it was because of my work with Scott and being more open and embodied. :-) Jesse noticed too.

I've also been working on our upcoming workshop, which has been exciting. And been working in 30 minute sprints...which has been VERY helpful. Speaking of which..I'm going to do one right now. :)