I think I've given up on H-pathy. Every time I dose, I feel dumb and unbalanced ...so I don't want to dose any more.... And then I think to myself, "Like it was doing any good anyway..."
It's been over two years since I started..... And on Monday it'll be three years since being diagnosed.
I'm tired. I'm tired of trying and getting nothing. I'm tired of hoping and waiting and getting nothing. My count was the same as it was when I started....the same as it was three years ago. There's no up and down swing.... it's just... down. Three years of low platelets.... three years of not being able to do everything I want to do because of that. Three YEARS. How much longer can I take this? I don't want to give up...but I'm just so tired of it. I'm exhausted.... mentally.... emotionally. Everyday I think about my platelets. Every fucking day...and that's not exaggerating.
This rant feels very drama high school..... but it's how I'm feeling right now.. so there. :P
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