Beyond busy bee

I guess I'll take a quite moment and update..since it's been over a week. :)
I have 7 jobs now. That's right. Seven. Accompanying Bella Vista, playing at Waldorf, directing the Germans, playing at the theater, playing at 1st cov, helping out with conducting lessons, and teaching music/choir at G.W.C. WHHEEEE!
G.W.C starts next week. :) I'm totally stoked, though I still need to make a silibus and figure out what I'm doing. (I have an idea)
And Waldorf starts the week after that (for me, at any rate).
And then we'll be in full swing! Phew! Hard working woman here! I work at least 20 hours a week now, which is FAR greater than it's ever been. Plus there's all the prep work and practicing. So it feels full time, to be sure.

The musical opens this Friday. It should be a good show.... some of the actors make me nervous with their lines (and lack of memorization), and even more so with the songs. I've exhausted my resources... there is nothing more I can do other than to pray and hope they get it together (I'm mainly thinking of one person in particular here)

I started eating my 'post hospital' way.. which is Dr. Furhman.. but gluten free. How long will I keep saying 'I need to loose weight' until it actually happens? We'll see. Being motivated and VERY busy might actually do the trick. :) That.. or backfire in my face.

My count isn't up.. I can tell from the red spots and bruises I still get. *sigh* I'm trying to keep hope, but it's slipping a little bit. Okay... as I typed that last sentence, I just remembered one of the things I learned at a CS session a few weeks okay. Wow. Crazy. I'm sitting here having a wild revelation of sorts. It's personal, so I won't indulge here... but I know what I'm talking about. :) Hehehe. Okay. Hope. Can't loose it. Or rather.. Keep it.
Speaking CS sessions, my last one was, as always, fabulous. This time I came away with:
Dance. :) I've been wanting to for a LONG time now, and that was just a confirmation.

Right! Lots to do! Gotta get to it!

So far so good... unless I'm refering to sleep. :P

Well that went well. :) It was hard to say what everyone thought of me. I think for the most part, everyone liked me.... though I think I really have to prove myself a bit more for a few of them... It was hard to say exactly what... But I only caught that from 2 of them.

I'm DEAD tired. I went to bed around 9 last night, but didn't fall asleep till at least 11... and of course, didn't sleep well. I took some valarian root..but that didn't help.. maybe it made it worse? Anyway.... I'm so sleepy I want to scream. This is really getting frustrating. Mom just suggested taking a power nap... which I've never been good at. Once I fall asleep, I'm out for HOURS. But maybe I'll try it, cause I don't know what else to do. :( It's a little upsetting. No.. it's more than a little. Extremely. Bah! I actually woke up when my alarm went off.. only cause I knocked the phone off the bed and had to go get it or face the insentient beeping of the alarm. But then I looked outside... gray clouds and WINDY.. so instead of going for a bike ride, I went back to sleep. (And officially got up at 9). Tomorrow, however, I won't have the option of going back to sleep... since I'll be going in to BV.

Okay... Power nap. Let's see if this works. (Good thing I don't have German choir tonight! Phew!)

Tomorrow!! AAHHHHH!

Tomorrow it all begins!
I'm waking up at 6:00am if it kills me, and going on a bike ride. (To ready myself for Tues, where I'll ride to work)
And then I'll go to G.W.C to meet with one of the teachers, go over what music to do, start getting my room ready, and then teach the teachers some music! Today I quickly whipped together a simple three part round of Hey, Ho, Nobody Home. So we'll either do that.. or if Scott has something better...we'll do that instead. Or maybe both! Who knows.. I'll find out when I get there.

WHEEE! I'm excited more than nervous. :) In fact.. I'm not nervous at all currently... Hopefully that keeps.

I am crazy tried, though.... STILL not sleeping well!!!! BAH!!! I can't wait till I'm NOT writing that anymore.. and then looking back on these posts going, "Oh yeah! I remember that! Man I'm glad that's over.." *eye roll* If only that moment were NOW and not in the future. Oh well. One step at a time.

Mom and I are starting Joel Furhman anew tomorrow as well. And I think I'll add in livestrong.com again.... cause that was really working for me. Those two things combined; I'll be set.

Out of the funk and into the BUSY!

Two days I got a phone call for a job offer teaching at a Waldorf inspired high school.. teaching 2 periods.. both 'singing' classes (basic music...basically). $40 an hour. After a phone call to my friend who was the previous teacher (and the one who recommended) and some internal discussion, I decided to take the job. And not but an hour after they had called, Waldorf called asking if I could play for the Eurythmy class (full time, as oppose to subbing like last time). WOW! Sooo... yeah... All of the sudden I got really busy. 6 jobs! But I need it, cause I just bought this little guy!:
No name yet.. though Marshmellow is a popular vote amongst my facebook buddies. I had a FANTASTIC experience at the dealership (who'd a thought!?). I saw the reviews for one of the dealers, Jeff Smart (awesome name).. and everyone had nothing but awesome things to say about him, so when we showed up, we asked for him like we knew him. He was a little confused when he came out to greet us, clearly raking his brain to remember these ladies in front of him (mom was with me). I promptly explained my googling experience. He was excited to hear it, and not entirely surprised. Anyway... he was awesome. And I got this. With 2.9% interest rate. Phew!

So with all my new jobs, all be paying that little guy off as fast as I can. My credit was good before... I'll be a rock star by the end of this. :)


School starts in 3 weeks (well.. the school I'm teaching at.. BV starts in two days!), so I've got 3 weeks to get in better shape. After all, if I'm going to be a roll model for these guys.. I'd like to also be a roll model for health as well. :) It's good inspiration. I just need to sleep better! Last night was okay.. I actually got a bad headache from a combination of not enough water and what I'm pretty sure was a detox from the "bad" food I had been eating the past month or so. (We were at the dealership for a while.. and I was afraid I was going to puke right there in the guys office.... thankfully I didn't. Mom was commenting how pale I looked, and the guy offered me some cantaloupe he had on him. Nice. :)) But I got through it with a wet washcloth and a fan blowing on my face. (Kudos for not taking any pain killers!)

Right! Lots of planning to do! Man I do SO much better when I'm busy. Darn tooten. I just hope I haven't swung the opposite direction and will get overloaded.... I'm think I'm good. Well see!

A tiny funk something

I'm feeling a little off today... Not sure what's up exactly. It could be I've been at the computer nearly ALL day for the past two days straight (working on recording for the musical and German choir). Yeah..... now that I read that sentence, I'm leaning more in that direction.
I took my remedy on the 27th of July.. but I'm feeling like I should redose again. Who knows where my count is... not much higher, if any at all. :P Mom keeps telling me to just forget about it and move on with life. Well I'm pretty sure I'm moving on with life, but it's near to impossible to forget.... Especially when I'm waiting to see something happen... and 'nothing' is what continues to happen. Maybe I should do another water fast? Of course... at the rate things are going, I don't know if I'll ever be able to do that again. *sigh* I'll cross that bridge later. I wouldn't be able to do it until January any way.

Sleep is STILL bad. UGH! It comes and goes.. I'd like it to GO and stay gone.

Ok.. I've been in front of the computer far too long today.

I'm going to redose.....

Kitty's back, composing's back, ninja workout

Zoe is now doing this thing where she's gone ALL day... comes in to eat, and then back out she goes! Today was the first in a week where she actually stayed in for the day and slept up in my bed. I honestly think it had something to do with me being gone all the time... and I think mom finally agrees... cause now that I'm home more, she's in more. So that's that.

I started composing again today. It felt nice, albeit slightly cheesy... It's for the Germans.. so it's easy and pretty sounding. The hardest part is writing in German! I'm using some old poetry.. but still, making sure the syllables fit with the ebb and flow of the music if difficult when you don't speak the language. Yet another reason why I need to learn.

Last Wednesday I went with a friend to his ninjutsu class. Ironically, I got a workout without even knowing it. I was SO sore the next day.. and I think I hurt my back a little bit. :P But besides that, it was awesome. Really fun, and I learned a lot. :) I'd like to go again, but I work most Wednesday nights. So we'll see if I ever get the chance again.

Sleep is still a little on the 'meh' side. Partly because of my back, and mostly because I'm not getting enough exercise (I think). Tomorrow I would like to go for a bike ride in the morning... The high school I play for starts up in a week... so I need to get back in the groove of waking up at 6am and riding. Yeah. I'm having a bit of a hard time getting my butt in gear.

I had a really vivid dream the other night.... two, in fact... one kind of bled into the next.. but I'm not going to post it.. cause it's a little x rated. :) Use your imagination.

OH! RIGHT! Almost forgot..
I was at a wedding on Saturday for a friend.. and one of the girls sitting at my table had ITP. Crazy! Her count was in the 20's.. and she also decided not to treat. I thought that was just wild. I told her about PDSA.org, and we chatted about the disease for a bit. Small world? Perhaps. :)

Some new lessons in CST

I met with Linda today and had a wild experience (doesn't that always happen? heheh)
I'm tossing back and forth weather or not I should write it all down here...hmmm... no. I'll save that for my physical journal. But here are the lessons I learned:
1. Strength, courage, hope.
2. Life moves... If I want to live more, move more
3. My body knows what it needs... Listen.
4. I need to create more... Write more, sing more, etc.
The whole thing was really awesome, but you'll have to take my word for it. Heheheh.


I dreamed last night that Zoe hurt herself.. and today, she is NO WHERE to be found. I let her outside last night (as per usual) and she never came inside in the morning... and dad and I have looked everywhere for her. So perhaps that dream wasn't all dream. Ugh. Poor thing. I'm sure she is REALLY hungry by now (this is assuming she's still alive. Oy!) It's beastly hot, so if she's injured somewhere, my guess is she's laying low in some shade, healing and waiting for it to cool off. Man I hope so. I love that silly goose!

Sleep and death

Here's the death part of that title:
On my way home.. just now... someone ran a red light on a main street, and almost hit me. LUCKY for me, I wasn't driving my normal 'lets get there' pace, and took my time getting off of the green. This guy/gal was going full speed down the main road (45-50mph) and was only 30-40 feet from me. Thankfully I was looking that way, and promptly stopped in the middle of the lane. They slammed on their brakes and swerved, missing me..but not by much... there was NO way they could come to a stop at that speed. Thankfully they kept control of their car. Needless to say, if I hadn't of stopped, I would be dead right now. Uuuuggghhhh. Maybe I just shouldn't be driving or something.

On a lighter note!
Sleep is WWWAAAAYYYYY better. And so are the dreams.
Last night I dreamed that Sarah and I went to this hospital to get a friend of ours, Gwen. For some reason, she was being held in the psychiactric ward (against her will). Sarah waited in this waiting room area while I snuck in and grabbed Gwen. Me doing so set off an alarm of some kind. We made our way back down the main hallway. At the main intersection, I saw a doctor looking at us, and then looking across the way where the alarm was sounding. I grabbed Sarah by the other hand and we all started running... with the doctor perusing us. There was no one else around, cause it was really late at night.
We made it out the front doors and into the parking lot, where the van was parked (my parents van). But the doctor and some other fellow who I hadn't seen had caught up with us. He was young, and had his head fully shaved to hide some early balding. And really fit. I didn't get a good look at the other guy.
It was appearent that they were there to kidnap us. We had a little bit of a stand off, not sure how to approach the situation. I pointed out the fact that the odds were against us, with these guys being big and fit. One against three would be more fair, but two against three...there was no way we could make it.
For some reason, I was holding a big, thick book in my hands (I think something to do with astronomy) and started whacking the doctor with it, yelling at Sarah and Gwen to run with the distraction. He soon over took me, knocking the book to the street and grabbing me.

Then I woke up.... to pee.

When I went back to sleep, it continued.. which is crazy rare for me. I actually slowly slipped back into it:
I was passed out on a floor, with dimly lit lights flickering haphazardly above me... making a 'zzzt' sound with every flick. I slowly opened my eyes and sat up.
I can't remember so well what the roomed looked like, but I do remember some metal standing shelves behind me... with books on them.
The doctor who nabbed me turned into Dr. Incredible. He was talking to me about how I needed to do more to get myself grounded into myself... and one of the ways was to sit with my knees pulled up to my chin, and wrap my arms around my legs while someone bigger wrapped their arms around me (like a hug, essentially..sitting down). I gave him a look like I wanted him to help me, and he picked up on it. And we just sat there, with him holding me in this arms. If felt fantastic.

And then I woke up..or don't remember anything else.
Time to make more dreams!
(Appointment with Nick in the morning)

Oh! And I had a session with Linda today. We actually worked on the whole thing with me wanting a male companion SO badly.. and how that's really actually a detriment to me. Awesome progress, to say the least. Learning to be content with 'now'. And clearing away the fog that that yearning had created within me.

My feelings about German choir...

I don't think I'll ever fully understand how I feel about German choir. I always.. ALWAYS am not looking forward to going, and ALWAYS would rather stay home. But I go (naturally), and then always have a great time and love it. Bizarre!
I did realize tonight, though, that I'm using all of my own energy with them, as oppose to channeling at least some energy from...er.... what do I call it? Ha! My brain is instantly going to the Wheel of Time fantasy books. The source, is what it's called..... But anyway. Yeah.... I had that realization. I'm not totally sure what to do about that at the moment. It's not like it's a problem, really... it would just be more beneficial to all involved if I used less of my own.

I have been sleeping better.. slowly yet surely! Phew! I've been taking just magnesium the past few nights, and I think that's been helping. My dreams are getting better too. Nothing solid enough to really write about, but they're getting there. :D

I spoke with the insurance people today, so I'm feeling better about that. Things are coming together. I need to cancel mine, so they don't charge me for a car I don't have! :P And I think I WON'T go back to them.... and I'm seriously thinking about looking into AAA (which is what the other girl had... whom I'm dealing with)

School starts sooner than later... I should figure out what I'm doing in that regard. I still need to write that paper... though if it'll do me any good now, I'm not sure. *eye roll* I hate this about myself.. I just... don't... deal with things. I'd rather ignore than face. Fear is a big issue here. :P My sessions with Linda have bee exposing that. And maybe if I read my 'tapping' book, that might help. In fact, I think that would REALLY help.... so maybe I should read it. Oy! There are so many books I want to read! Need..to learn..to read... FASTER!


There is a MASSIVE fly in here.....