Back in the training saddle! (again... *eye roll*)

8am this morning came with a vengeance... with only 5 hours of sleep, I made my way to the gym to face my trainer, who I had not seen for 3 weeks. Needless to say... I'm sore. It was a fantastic work out. And tomorrow I'll need to ride my bike to work (to record), so that'll be an hour workout. Bam! Rockin' the fitness..

I'm STILL not sleeping so well. I ended up taking a nap today and that was the best hour of sleep I've had in a while. Had a few random dreams, but they were more my style, as oppose to what they've been lately. What do I mean by 'my style' I honestly can't describe. My dreams have a certain... err... essence? to them... vibe? I'm not sure how to describe it, truly. But anyway...there you have it. The nap was good. Long, detailed dreams (though I can't really remember them now).

Rehearsal tonight was loooooong. 7-10 straight. Oy! I was teaching music. Productive indeed, but so very long. And with not a lot of sleep, PLUS training, I am more than tired now..... soooooo. BED TIME! :D

(Quick side note: I totally have stomach acid right now, and it SUCKS. I ate some bread, cheese, AND a slice of bread cake today. Worst I've eaten in a long time, and man do I regret it now... I forgot how much I hate this.. BLECK!)

Redosed!

Nothing much to say, really. Just wanted to keep track of when I re-dose my remedy... which I did this morning.

Though I will say this: My fear of driving other peoples cars is fading, purely based on the fact that I have been FORCED to do so since my car was killed. For example: driving my friends car around for two weeks.. and this evening, I had to drive the van to work (which I've never driven a van before). Go me. That's one fear down... many more to go. HOOWAH!

Coming along...

The Way of the Superior Man : A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire, by David Deida.

I just got this, along with two more of his books: Dear Lover, and It's a Guy Thing: An Owner's Manual for Women. So far, the Superior Man one is FANTASTIC. I won't get into it now, but it's awesome.. I will say that much. :) My brother recommended it to me.. technically, it's for guys... but from what I read so far, women benefit from it just as much. Very insightful, among other things.


I had another session with Linda today. Awesome, as always, and I'm really making some progress here... and getting better at sensing my own energy and if there are kinks in it. I'm learning that I need to trust myself more.. and in doing so, will be less afraid. (I'm a total scaredy cat... it's ridiculous how easily I get nervous, though I hide it well.... but really, it's a problem)

Sleep still isn't good. Maybe cleaning my room will help *HUGE eye roll* Why it's ssoooooo hard for me to keep it clean, I may never know.. but there you have it. Exercise will help too... I'll see Nick (my trainer) on Thursday. We had taken a week off because of the car accident, but I think I'm ready to get back to it. My back is not completely better, but allllmost there. I road my bike to the theater the other day (5.4 miles... solid half hour, cause it was HILL-TASTIC!) and managed fairly well, albeit out of breath by the end and sweating like mad in this heat. How did I end up here? I started this paragraph about sleep.... hmmmmm.

Yet another baby spider...

I was visiting with some friends in the Bay the past two days, and not last night, but the night before, I found yet ANOTHER baby spider on me. I ended up killing it, though I try not to (but it happens that physical reflexes work faster than other brain functions, generally).
So there we have it. I have NO idea if I'm just noticing it more because of camping or what, but it sure does seem like it's never happened before and now, all of the sudden, it's happening all the time. *shrug* Bizarre.

Finally some sleep!

So the Valarian root blend that my chiropractor gave me worked like a charm! Well... not a total charm.. I still woke up a few times, but nothing like before! I actually got a decent amount of sleep, and my dreams were much more normal. Phew!

Today we went to the State Fair. Good times. :) I'm exhausted (and didn't get burnt! Whoo! Three cheers for healthy sunscreen!)

Tomorrow I'm picking up some friends at the air port in the Bay and giving her car back to here. Then I'm on my own and will hopefully get one this Friday or Saturday at this weekly sale up by the college. What are the chances I can get a decent car for $2,500? Quite unfortunately, it's not a change of season, so chances aren't very good at the moment, but one never knows! (That whole 'chances are good' bit is an inside joke with me and Loon... semi long story.. I'll tell it another time)

BED!

German choir

Rehearsal with the Germans went MUUUUUUCCCHHHH better tonight. PHEW! I actually prepared myself before hand. Though, is it turned out, I didn't go with what I had prepped because there wasn't enough people there. But I was able to fly by my pants as I normally do. The message I had this morning did wonders. :)
I'm actually a little more sore (more like, in pain) tonight than normal. And Marlies (my missus) was saying that that is a good thing... pain LEAVING the body, quite literally. I'll see her again next week.. and I'm seeing Linda on Wednesday. Yay for getting better! Now the platelets need to jump on that band wagon.

I also saw my chiropractor and told him how badly I was sleeping. So he gave me..err... Valerian root? Yes.. That. It has a few other ingredients. Magnesium, passion flower. Hop? I could go get it, but really am being lazy and staying in my room. Anyhow... we'll see how that goes. I hope it helps, even a little is fine cause YIKES. I keep waking up, tossing about.. and having bad dreams. Lots of them having to do with driving (crashing my friends car or wrecking it in some way... getting into accidents. Ugh *eye roll* I wonder how long this will last)

Sum up update

• The musical (Forbidden Broadway) ended today. Good run. Everyone did great. Now for Cabaret :)

• Back is about the same for the past few days.. but at least that 'same' is better than it was. Tomorrow I'll get another message and chiropractic adjustment. And then CS on Wednesday. Then we'll see where I'm at. The cream the doc gave me I think is also helping... it's kind of like icy hot, but not as intense.. and cooler ingredients. Also, my hpathy cocktail helps too.
  

• I have a lot more red dots everywhere. I think if I was to check my count, it'd be in the low 20's. I don't think I'll check.... It's so hard to not just completely give up all hope at this point. I really thought it was going to start going up.
  

• My right ear started hurting... like... ear infection hurt. How lame is that. I'm currently typing this with my head tilted sideways with some homemade remedy resting in the canal. (Equal parts water, vinegar, and rubbing alcohol). If it's an outer ear infection, this will do the trick.. if it's middle ear.. I'm not sure. Maybe April has something for that, cause I really don't like putting antibiotics in there. Deafness is a small chance side effect, and that is not for me thank you very much.

• I need to start prepping more for German choir. Last weeks rehearsal was terrible not only from my loss of focus, but also cause I wasn't prepared. Tomorrow shall be different. (Plus I need to arrange a piece for them. Okay.. I don't NEED to.. but I want to.)

• Sleep has been TERRIBLE. Just flat out, plan ol' awful. And it didn't help last night that this black cat that has been terrorizing all the other cats came into my room and got Zoe all riled up. (We were leaving the door cracked to the outside for her at night.... Not any more!) But yeah.. sleep. So bad. Can't get comfortable, and dreams are wired. Last night had spiders in it.
• Which.. on a slightly different note... Since coming back from camping, I keep finding baby spiders (or little ones, at least) on me! It's crazy! I've found at least 10.. at LEAST. Where and why, I do not know.

• Trying to find a car, sucks.

No training for a bit

My trainer told me we would cancel our sessions until my back is doing better. *pout* I NEED to get stronger, cause that would certainly help things, but how do I do it when I hurt?!?! Talk about a paradox. Or at least a conundrum at best.
Also... sleep is TERRIBLE. I keep tossing and turning at night, and my dreams are vague and wired. Two nights ago it was frustrating... literally, that was the theme. Just..everything I did was frustrating. I was looking for something and couldn't find it. I couldn't say what I needed to, or really express what I needed to.
And last night's theme was all about driving and getting a new car.... Someone was offering me this tiny two seater (almost one seat!) car for $6,000. That came up because I got a settlement from the claims adjuster. $1,500. Which isn't bad, of course. I doubt I could ever sell the car for that much... but really.. What on earth can I buy with that?! Nothing, is the answer. So I'm not sure what to do, cause I can't afford car payments. Why do I have a feeling I've ranted about this already?......

HPathy for back pain, newcomer to the arsenal, best CS EVER

As well as getting a homeopathic cream for my back from my doc, I just got a cocktail in the mail today from April, which I promptly put into water, shook, and sipped. It definitely helps with the pain, but the tightness is still there. :P
HOWEVER...
Today I saw my message therapist, who was rockin' awesome! And I will most certainly see her again (on Monday) and am adding her to my arsenal list of doctors/practitioners.

Oh! And I had a CS session on Tuesday..... bar non the coolest one I've had yet. At one point, all of the sudden, I was in this room.... like a living room/home library. Two maroon couches faced each other, with a lamb skin blanket on the floor between them (and I was laying on that). A warm fire gently cracked in the brick fireplace in front of me. A man stood to one side, holding an old fashion wooden pipe in his mouth.
I was only there for a few moments (long enough to notice all that).. and then only halfway made it back to reality, so to speak... I honestly had NO idea where I was or what was happening for a good 5 - 10 seconds before finally realizing Linda was holding my head and I was in the middle of a CS session. HA! WILD! I told her about it after and she commented how the sessions allow people to get to a dream like state without being asleep.. you can really access your unconscious that way. And funny enough, I think I recognized the room. When I first read Body of Health, one of the meditations is to picture yourself in a safe place (It had a specific name.... that I can't remember at the moment). I remember trying to NOT let my own concepts interfere and just let whatever comes to me, come. A few different places came to mind.. and that was one of them... But I think my concept snuck in anyway, cause I ended up choosing somewhere different. Needless to say, I think I'll picture that room from now on... and it'll be interesting to see where all this goes.
Interesting... quite interesting.

Platelets and fixing

Platelets = 28
I'm trying not to be disappointed... My Doctor was actually tickled pink that they seemed stable through the car accident. I told him I thought they might have been higher, and he agreed that that very well could have been true. (And mom said there are worse things than a low count.. like an unstable mood. (She noticed my mood has been swinging for some time now. UPs and then DOWNs.... And lately it's been nice a stable. I didn't really notice until the other day when she pointed it out to me. Groovy.))
As for my back, he gave me a conglomeration of arnica and company. I mixed that, along with a higher potency of arnica and my constitutional into a water bottle and 'sip and shake' it through the day. That has helped a bit.
Tomorrow I'll see my chiropractor.
Wednesday is a message therapist (whom my Doctor highly recommended). She sounded really cool over the phone (German, as well... which doesn't really mean anything, just an interesting side note)
Hopefully this will all resolve itself in a timely manner. Cause I don't take pain killers.. and I'm not a fan of being in pain.... ssooooooooo...

Germain Choir was tonight. And I had one hell of a time focusing! I was chatting with April earlier today, and she asked me how my focus was and at the time I thought it was fine... well I take that back! Yikes! I just wanted to say, "Okay. We're done. I can't think." However, I somehow managed to trudge through... albeit poorly. At least we got something done, so it wasn't all for not. *facepalm* I felt like a fool, even if I was the only one who noticed.

CBC on it's way and $$ rant

Really though.. I know I shouldn't get excited. I can tell it's not up by that much.. in fact, the past day or two I've been lightheaded on standing, which means down. I'm sure the stress of the accident didn't help either. :P
Speaking of accident, my back still hurts. Oddly enough, it's fine when I wake up...but then once I get up and start moving around, then it starts hurting. So by the end of the day, it's no fun. I called my chiropractor (who is closed during the weekends), and left a message. Hopefully he'll get back to me tomorrow.
And I have NO idea what I'm going to do about getting a new car. (And by 'new' I mean new to me... but not to this world). My old car wasn't worth much, so I doubt I'll get much from the settlement. I'm in debt from tuition already, and can't afford to make car payments. I will never be able to leave Sacramento at this rate. I want to travel, damn it!!! Not pay off a crap ton of debt! BAH! School and cars.. they WILL be the death of me.

Injury claim time, apparently.. Boo.

When I first got hit, I thought I was okay.. besides the headache. The next day I had a stiff neck/mid back... but it wasn't really painful, just sore and stiff. And the next day it was healing, so I thought, "Okay.. I'm groovy."
However, yesterday morning my right side started hurting (Neck/back/shoulder area).. and today is no better. :( It HURTS... and this isn't any kind of good pain. I was hoping my session with Nick would strengthen it..but now I'm not sure what to do. I should see I doctor, is what I should do.
*Le sigh* More phone calls and dealing with insurance. Ugh. I hope it's not a long, painful process (no pun intended). I'm a piano play, dagnabit! I can't have back pain! BAH!

Training again and CST to the rescue

I met with Nick again today... which marks our round 2 of five training sessions. He kicked my butt all royal, but I managed to stick with it all the way. PHEW! Now the key is to work out in between our sessions so I IMPROVE. That's the key word here... improvement.
I really really really want to go to the classes there, but I need to get up to do it! Since it's not technically required of me, it's harder for me to go. *facepalm* Excuses excuses. Yoga at 10am tomorrow... really though, I should go.

I also met with Linda, my CST. I told her about the car accident and she was really glad I came in to see her so soon after (and me too!). Right after the accident, I was trying to clear things, but having a hell of a time with it... Everything seemed scrambled and discombobulated. But thank goodness for Linda! As soon as she put her hands on me things started moving and clearing. Aaahhhh if felt good, and I felt worlds better after. I'll meet with her again next week cause we still have some things to work out; mainly whatever this thing is that's in my throat. It hurts. It's annoying. I want it gone.

No CBC yet... I'm waiting for the nurses to call me back letting me know that the order is ready for me to pick up. :P Come on nurses! Hopefully they'll call me tomorrow, cause I want to know, dagnabit!

July 4th maddness

Here's the story:
Morning starts off just fine. Good breakfast. A quick visit with Sarah. Get some hpathy motion sickness remedy from Eliots. Head out; on my way to the Bay! Sailing here we come!.....
Traffic starts to slow down. I, like a good driver, slow down with it. The girl behind me, however, had different plans. *wry look* I heard the SCREEEEEECH, and then my car leaped forward with a terrible crunch sound. A quick side note here: Many times I have pictured myself in scenarios and then thought it through...reenacting, if you will. This is actually one of them. And the first thing to do is to STOP THE CAR from hitting the car in front you. And that's exactly what I did. It was the very first thing that went flying through my head as I was flying through the air. As soon as my feet where back on the floor and hands on the wheel, I slammed on my breaks and missed hitting the truck in front of me by a foot. PHEW! *forehead wipe* I felt okay.. but you know how wrecks go.. You don't really know if you're okay till the next day.
-Skipping the boring waiting around, info exchange-
My friends are amazing, and waited for me for sailing (two of them picked me up off the side of the freeway), and my super awesome dad waited with my dying car for the tow truck.
So now I'm back on track for my fun Fourth of July.... an interesting beginning, to say the least. I started getting a headache once we got back on the road, and of COURSE I'm thinking: PLATELETS! Everything happened so fast, it was hard to say how hard I whacked my head on the rebound. Luckily, I had a veggie tray with me, and I started scarfing the celery in it (thinking I didn't have any Arnica on me). When we stopped for gas, I went hunting through my backpack, and as it turns out, past Kate was on top of things, and had her Arnica in there! Whoo! So I took some, to be on the safe side (as it turns out, I got three minor bruises.... they undoubtedly would have been worse had I not taking it). In the end, I'm totally okay.. just a stiff neck that's healing with each day

The rest of the day went smashingly! Sailing was fantastic and we watched the Berkeley fireworks from the water (we could see the entire Bay area fireworks, actually.. but we were directly under Berkeley's.) I only got a few pics before my phone died, unfortunately (most of it's juice was used up making phone calls after the accident). The remedy I got for motion sickness worked like a charm! (It was a mix of Nux Vomica, Tubacum, and two others I can't remember). I started feeling a tad sick, so I popped that in my mouth along with a bit of ginger and BAM, good to go for the rest of the day. (Ginger is also amazing, and I purposely brought a bunch for anyone else who might feel sick (from Trader Joe's... dried and lightly sugared. STRONG stuff!))
To get home, one of my good friends let me use her car (since she would be gone for a few weeks). There you have it! Craziest 4th of July to date, bar none.

And on a totally different note, I'll be getting a CBC soon. Hopefully Friday! WHOO! Can't wait! I'm reeeaaaaally hoping for 40's. My goodness that would be amazing... I honestly might scream if that happens. But we'll see! No breath holding allowed.

Re-dose round....er.... 4?

Took my remedy again this morning. Doing pretty well... though for some reason my left leg is totally cramping. Not sure what that's all about.
Tomorrow (er...today, I guess) will rock socks. But first... bed! (Stayed up chatting with Sarah... hence the lateness of it all)

Sailing, training, and piano playing

So much has happened.. let's see... I wouldn't have to think back if I actually kept up here! HA! Anyway...
....er....

I had a gig last Friday where I had to fake my way through Bach's Brandenburg Concerto (no.5), third movement. OY. FAST. Everyone seemed to enjoy it, despite my desperate groping to stay alive through the whirling eighth and sixteenth notes.
I also got some extra cash for writing out some violin parts for The Prayer. Thank you comp lessons!... it comes in handy.
And afterward, I came to the conclusion that I REALLY need some legit piano lessons. So I emailed an old friend/professor, and I'm going to get some from him. :)

I got a homemade recipe from a friend for some sun screen. I either need to make it, or just buy some at the heath food store, cause this is the third time in the past two weeks that my face has gotten burnt. Oy! And I'll be going sailing again on July 4th, so I need it by then. (And yes.. that's right.. I will be DIRECTLY under the fireworks out on the Bay. It will be awesometasic)

My last session with my trainer on Tuesday didn't last as long as it normally does. It had been a month since I have seen him last, and I was not in the shape I had been in. Ugh. Needless to say, I got a little sick to my stomach. :P So I decided to keep going with him, and signed up for 5 more sessions. I opened up a little more with him, and I think that helped both of us out... me for motivation, and him to see where I'm really at. Should be good, and get some results.

I'm going to do a 7 day raw food challenge...Brought to you by the creators of the Renegade Health Show. SUCH a great website. From the blog today, here's 6 great tips to improve your health:
1. Take a 24-48 hour Internet break.
2. Take a hike in a park you’ve never been to before.
3. Do a one day juice fast.
4. Eat a head of lettuce every day.
5. Go to an exercise class you haven’t been to before (or haven’t been to in a while.) 6. Do a vision board for your own health.
(This is something I need to do often!!! Especially the bit about an internet break....)

The musical I'm playing for is doing well. I am in DESPERATE need for a regular back message... my numb spot is not getting better on it's own, and will most likely only get worse unless I work these knots out!

Speaking of knots, I love sailing. :) And I can't WAIT till my count get's higher, cause no matter how I try, I get bruises when we go out. (It's inevitable) I'm getting a little discouraged, cause it's still not up yet. It's not like a really mind all that much.. I certainly just go on living my life with "low platelets" in the back of my mind. However, getting bruises means blood vessel damage. And some of these bruises leave what I have now deemed as "shadow bruises." Which is: once the bruise is healed, a shadow of it is left behind..and still hurts a tinsy tiny bit. It seems quite unnatural, and slightly disconcerting... They go away eventually, but not for months after the initial heal. So I don't like to get bruises, cause it seems like they never really truly heal, and I'm worried that if I keep getting them, I'll cause some serious damage to my blood vessels over time. :( Hard to say... hard to know... But dang it all, I won't stop sailing! I'm slowly getting better at it, and learning more and more each time we go out. :) I'm starting to remember all the terms (and there are LOTS of them), and Leo started teaching me the names of all the different kind of boats and more technical stuff. LOVE IT!
I'll get a CBC next week, but I can tell, it's still low. I'm guessing in the 30's. Bah! Am I missing something!? Is there one more piece to this puzzle that I don't know about? Come mid July it will be 5 months since starting hpathy. And I know the rule is: the longer you've been sick, the longer it takes to heal... And for sure I've had ITP for 6 years...(maybe MUCH more... not sure on that one, and impossible to find out). Maybe for every year of being sick, it's a month of healing? That would be nice. Then that would mean I'm close to the end.... or at least closer. Come on platelets! You can do it! (Hmm.. maybe I should cheer my body on..rather than my platelets..since they are the byproduct of my bodies functioning.... Let's go body, let's go! Hey hey!) Maybe my missing piece is just getting to my optimal weight and fitness level.. cause I'm not there yet, to be sure. Ugh! How many years upon years have I been saying this? Will it finally change? Man I hope so. My life and health depend on it.

And I just had to add this photo... It's in SF.. the STEEPEST street I've ever walked on. I'm pretty sure cars aren't allowed to drive on it, and with GOOD reason.