A new year, some more new me!

To start off this post, I found this from a post in June, 2011...talking about a dream I had (while backpacking in Tahoe):

"I can't remember any details, but I was falling in love with a man.. and he was going to be my husband. It was the first time ever that a dating/marriage type of dream wasn't just awkward and wrong feeling. (Normally, I ALWAYS feel uncomfortable, and thinking things like, "This isn't right..something is wrong." But not this time.) It was just wonderful and I was so in love with him. I don't remember his name, or what he looked like. I recall thinking that he reminded me a bit of my brother, and that's it. *sigh* I'm lonely and longing for a man...if you couldn't guess."

I just find that VERY interesting...because Scott is so much like Jesse, it's out of control. We joke about it from time to time... He even has a scar on his eyebrow. Crazy times.

Me explaining to Jess how the game worked...
He wasn't pleased.

Christmas was fun, and the winter break didn't last long enough this time around. We spent time with the family in Holister, and I had a great conversation with my cousin Jenny..it was just starting to get REALLY good when I was pulled away by the folks needing/wanting to leave, which was kind of a bummer. We were talking about Scott and how much I've grown and health. :-)

One of three tree hangings

Our white elephant exchange was fun. Mom got these really awesome electric candles that look totally real and smell like vanilla. I wanted to steal it from her, but she wouldn't let me.... I ended up with chocolate covered fruit (which ended up staying with them). I need to steal one of those candles...

I threw this on my keyboard yelling,
"Feel like Christmas!"

At home, we decorated more than last year.. Steph and I were both struggling feeling like it was Christmas. But we got a little tree this year! And a beautiful wreath. I made door stoppers for Scott and earrings for Steph.. and got Jess a CUTEST stuffed Tiger, as well as a smoky quartz necklace.

Random shot of Steph and
I playing pool

Just last week I was majorly struggling... I don't even remember why. I had wanted to add a couch to office so badly, but Scott thought it would be better to put my time and money into a new computer, and keep the office how it was...afterall...it was totally fine before. :-) For some reason, that really triggered me, and I really struggled for a few days. But on Tuesday, I had a MAJOR break through.. and for the first time since being with him, I really felt his love. And it's not like he hasn't been loving me this whole time.. it's that I hadn't made space for it. I was nearly always feeling sorry for myself in some way, and when I do that, it's all about me... and that leaves no room for no one else, nor room to feel anyone else's love. So yeah... it's been even more amazing now than ever before. It's hilarious how this keeps happening... Struggles and breakthroughs... struggles and breakthroughs... If I keep this up, I will be a pretty incredible person in no time! (Even more than I am now? oooOOOOOooo. Okay. I'm a dork)


We did a read through of Jesse's "The Peddler." Dave commented after the first run that I had gotten a LOT better at it. I pointed out that it was because of my work with Scott and being more open and embodied. :-) Jesse noticed too.

I've also been working on our upcoming workshop, which has been exciting. And been working in 30 minute sprints...which has been VERY helpful. Speaking of which..I'm going to do one right now. :)